07/04/2006

New Element Discovered by Scientists

rosa maria lima, 12:31 am - portugues

  • April Fool

    My fiancé works in Local Government and has an interest in Science. Other day, during the breakfast, he told me that scientists recently discovered a new element that they have tentatively named Administratium.

    This element has no protons or electrons, with an atomic number of 0. However, it does appear to have 1 neutron, 8 assistant neutrons, 10 executive neutrons and 25 vice neutrons with an indeterminate number of assistant vice neutrons. This gives an estimated atom mass off 311.5, since due to the laws of quantum physics; the neutron is detectable only part of the time. These particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson like particles called morons.

    Since it has no electrons, Administratium is completely inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. Just a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than 1 second. Another experiment that should have completed in a few weeks is still running after 1.6 years.

    This new element is weakly active and has a half life of approximately 2 years, at which time it doesn’t decay but alters its structure, where executive neutrons, assistant vice neutrons and vice neutrons change places. Some predict that atomic weight actually increases after each reorganisation.

    Research at other laboratories confirmed these results and indicated that the occurrence of this element whilst wide spread, does occur more around large corporations and governmental agencies. There is also circumstantial evidence showing a relationship between deforestation and global warming. This is due to the fact, as Scientists point out, that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and destroy and productive reactions by retarding efficiency. Avoid if possible, or handle with care!

    Marc G.

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